it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
