is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
