he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
