I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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