There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
