the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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