I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I touched a dick in church today
Just puked most of my soul out..
im on a boat
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