I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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