the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
