So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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