Need sex. Gaining weight.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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