I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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