it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
