He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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