dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
