I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
