you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Text me some of your sweat
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
