My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
