OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
