he shaved USA in his pubs
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize