and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
