don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
