yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
