So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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