somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
