Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
