this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
