So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
