They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
