She announced her abortion via fbk
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
