i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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