To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
