yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
