so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
