saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Even my vagina gasped.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
