sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
