you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize