What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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