I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
