No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
