i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
