He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
