you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
