In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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