i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
