I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
