he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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