Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
