I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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