i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
