just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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