I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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