I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
