So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
