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I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
