Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize