even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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