I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
