He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
