im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize