best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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