It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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