someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
